Deserted by her partner Steven, as he walked his way around the Island of Arran in the rain, she found herself alone for the whole week leading up to her 24th birthday. The house had been cleaned, rugby training attended, the grass was cut but every evening, on her way home from work, she called me wanting company and just to chat.Would I come down to see her, she asked? Just for a few days, she was all alone, and it was her Birthday! I kept saying it was impossible, I had given my word to help out in Llangollen, and if the first promise wasn't enough of a commitment, I had the back up bar engagement to fill.
All this strangely changed mid week! My services were no longer as essential as they had been, if I needed the weekend off it strangely was no longer a problem. Llangollen staff could work on a few extra hours as they were in no rush to finish early, I called the bar, yes they were sorted, no need for me to come in and so I found myself Friday afternoon, in my beautiful little car, full of oil, water and petrol, heading 220 miles down motorways and lanes, to see Lisa.
The Friday tea-time traffic was horrific, 20 miles per hour was a bonus on the Southbound A417 as the Northbound route ploughed itself to a standstill for mile after mile. I had left Wales, a few hours previous, under a sky full of dark, rain threatening cloud. Sarah was waiting on top of her hill in merry anticipation for the down fall as her water tank was now totally empty and even Jason's stop watch timed shower routine couldn't save them unless the mountain rain filled the tank soon.
The rain was just beginning to fall as I drove through Rhyadar. By Leominster, however, the sun had reappeared, the clouds evaporated and the windows were wound down. By the time I reached Winchester, the radio was warning the South-east of the country about the biggest heat wave to hit the UK so far this year.
Many of you know I do not 'do' cold, or overcast for that matter and so my weekend was improving by the second. By the time I reached the M5 the air temperature was 27 degrees, by Oxford it was 29. Radio 4 continued to entertain me with warnings of Heat waves and updated from the Archers!
I arrived at Lisa's by 6.30pm, unloaded the few things I had brought and settled down for what I thought would be a nice quiet relaxing weekend.
“I'm having a few friends around tomorrow” Lisa said quite casually as I put my bags upstairs, “Could you make me a Birthday Cake?” Lisa does not eat eggs in any shape or form, so bought cakes are out, traditional recipes also do not apply. The Egg free recipe book was consulted, ingredients required were checked in the kitchen cupboard. A shopping list for the entire list of cake ingredients was written onto a shopping list, along with many other ingredients for feta parcels, salads and anything else Lisa's growing enthusiasm could think of. Eastley's branch of Asda is open 24 hours and so, instead of finding myself curled up with my daughter watching a good film at 9.30pm, I found myself with a trolley asking smiling boys and helpful men where I could find condensed milk, hummus and plastic plates!!
I am not very good at navigating my way around mulitplex supermarkets. I blindly followed the yellow shirts as they led me this way and that. At one point Lisa actually called me on my mobile to find out where I was, the mobile was sitting on the kitchen table back at the house and so she never did discover where I had disappeared to, until I returned clutching a bag of soft brown sugar in one hand and smiling broadly at the fact that I had found her again!!
The list got shorter, the trolley got fuller, the shop stayed teeming with people even though the evening hours were passing. Checkout was done in the traditional way of putting the items onto the moving conveyor belt to be checked and scanned by a real breathing, sometimes conversing, person. The new system of self check out is totally beyond me and I hope for this situation to continue for many years yet to come!
The sun had set and the evening sky was darkening as we loaded up the car. The air temperature was still 27 degrees, the sky was spotted with high fluffy clouds, birds still sang their hearts out in the surrounding trees and the suspension sagged alarmingly as we loaded the final bags into the boot!
Once home the whole process of unloading and finding homes for everything began. This was successfully completed by 11pm and the baking began!! Egg Free Banana cake was rubbed and mixed, chocolate egg-less sponge was creamed and stirred. Tins were lined, the oven was heated, cobweb covered cooling trays were pulled from the backs of cupboards in anticipation. By 1am we proudly looked at two delicious cakes sitting on the side of the counter, the kitchen was clean and home made Salsa sat in the saucepan, flavours marinading together, blending, expanding, fermenting!
With our new list of 'Things to Be Done Before 12' we retired to bed and slept quite soundly.
7am saw Lisa getting out of the bath and me getting in. It had been a hot night and the day was promising to be even hotter. Breakfast was eaten in-between chopping, slicing and shredding. The final missing ingredients were identified, the re-cycling was sorted, the car keys were located and we hit the road, as the tarmac began to sizzle.
An hour later we were back chopping, shredding and rolling. Puff pastry was turned into feta cheese parcels, the left overs turned into pizzas. Coleslaw, potato salad, complete with egg free salad cream filled bowls that were stacked into the fridge. 
All the guests coming were meat eaters, this was the first time Lisa was doing a totally veggy meal for all her friends, and she wanted to impress. Peppers were stuffed with cous-cous, goats cheese was sliced onto the top, water cress salads were tossed while strips of carrot, cucumber and peppers were measured and placed in lines onto plates with hummus and sour cream dips.
The chive plants were virtually stripped of leaves, as they worked their way into, on top of, and beside, the growing dishes.
Piles of books, camping and climbing gear, paper work and random, yet essential junk, disappeared from the lounge, throws were straightened, rugs were shaken, until all was ready. Lisa mixed the punch, I poured a glass of juice and we wandered out into the heat of the day. What started as a quick brush of the patio outside the back door, travelled up the steps and up onto the top patio. The bucket was fetched, filled, emptied and refilled as we pulled weeds, swept old grass cuttings and generally tidied up. The final job of picking up all the tiny apples scattered all, and I mean all, over the grass was completed as my back gave into the pressures of all that bending and sent a spasm of pain shooting down my legs. I slowly uncurled, stretched and turned to Lisa. “Just once'” I said, a smile on my lips, “Just once, I would love to come to visit and just sit and do nothing” “You can do nothing tomorrow!” Lisa countered “and if you did do nothing,” she added, “you would only get bored!!” I sat down with my glass and watched her fish out the frog to show me his wonderful markings, she was right, I did love coming down to find a project, or a challenge to complete.
Half and hour later we were driven back indoors by the scorching heat and the first of the guests arrived. Snakes were released from their various cages, people previously scared of the twisting reptiles held them for the first time, their fears lost in the fascination of touch and movement. The Gekos soon followed, their silk-like skin, their incredible feet and grinning expressions wooing their new friends. More guests arrived. The final prepared items were popped into the oven, drinks were passed around and the party began.
Plates of food were taken into the garden, rugs were moved into the shade of the fence, drinks were sunk to prevent dehydration!! Re-fills of food and drinks were fetched and consumed. A pack of cards appeared and a diamond of nine cards was laid out, face down in front of Lisa on the grass. The aim, it was explained, was to get from one end to the other without turning over an Ace or a Picture card. Any of these cards meant the consumption of a finger or four of alcohol, plus a restart, by covering the cards already turned, with new faced down ones.
By the eighth re-covering, Lisa was getting paranoid that the cards had been fixed and was also in desperate need of a burp, or two, to release the building gas accumulating in her stomach from swigging finger after finger of fizzy alcohol from her Breezer bottles!
Lisa, unfortunately, has never mastered the ability to burp! Her mouth opens, her eyes sometimes water slightly but no excess air is ever forthcoming. She walked to the top of the garden, we rubbed her back, she jogged to the bottom of the garden and back. She gave up and drank her next four fingers of forfit and prayed for an end to the Pictures cards that were turning up, unfailingly, every time she got even close to completing the task at hand.
With Lisa's go completed, the rest of the crowd had a go. Terry completed his without a single Ace or Picture card appearing, he was fined two fingers and ordered to do it again. I, being a non drinker, was allowed to nominate drinkers to take my 'fines' and so the whole game took on a new meaning. No longer did I wish to complete the task without finding an Ace but now relished finding the cards that would enable me to start again and pass the 'fines' onto my surrounding drinkers! With six nominated drinks consumed, the task was completed and the game passed to the next player.
This game was followed by others, conversations got louder and more random, the sun dipped, more food was consumed and other games were played. 'Bunny' was hilarious as Katie tried to copy Terry and failed, repeatedly, to see the final small move that would allow her 'copy' to be complete. Others tried to demonstrate, exaggerating the ending, but still she missed that final tiny detail and so was repeatedly told “Wrong, try again” over and over again!
The gin was finished, the wine was opened, consumed and replaced, the cake was brought out, lit and wished upon. The Birthday song was sung and slices of rich cake passed around. Full and cooler now that the sun had disappeared behind the hill, the crowd discussed the evenings options. Various pubs were mentioned and dismissed, the pros and cons of each aired, laughed over and stories told about. At last it was decided that a few drinks in Stones, in Eastly, was the ticket and with the two non drinker driving, the birthday party headed into town.
As we passed through the lounge, Jane mentioned her fears about Lisa's staircase and how she always felt she could fall through it.
This led to enthused discussion and various attempts to actually climb through the stair case. All attempts, and there were quite a few, ended in people either being wedged solid or extracting themselves carefully with bruised ribs or buttocks!!!
Killer pool, more drinks, a few slammed shots and the invasion of two guys hoping, unsuccessfully, to get lucky, completed the evening before the hardened party goers returned to the house and the X-box!!
'Halo' burst onto the screen, complete with bursts of gun fire and falling bodies. Julie picked up the guitar, re-tuned it and began to strum. Lisa played a few tunes, I played the three I know before passing the guitar back. Julie was only just warming up and tunes flowed from her fingers, voices joined in miss-matched harmony to join in the fun. Words and chords were pulled onto the laptop and fed to the big screen TV.
As Terry said, it is the trying that matters, not the final result, and so now at 4am, I sit typing at my laptop while down below, songs like a 'Whole new world' from Aladdin are mixed with The Animals 'House of the Rising Sun'! Lotty has decided to hide behind the bedroom door and listen, in cat like silence, to the wonderful happy voices rising up the staircase!
And so I shall bid you all good night and also go join the happy revellers!
P.S.
Sunday afternoon Lisa and I went to help at a climbing competition at Calshot, where she works. I was also asked to write a small article about it for their End of Term News-letter. One of the trials faced by the youngsters is called the Slack-line.
There is a Slack-line permanently set up in the garden where the staff live for them to practice on.
While waiting for Katie to get ready, Lisa demonstrated its use by walking along its length and encouraged me to have a go.
It is defiantly not as easy as it looks!!
When Katie did come out, she joined Lisa in some serious showing off before we drove to the centre for the competition.
Below is the article I wrote, with a few photos of Lisa, for your enjoyment.
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Calshot Climbing Squad End of Term Competition
It has been many months, since a brain storming afternoon by Shona and John, produced the basics that grew into the Climbing Squad. Twenty four young people, ranging from eight years old, to the near adult sixteen year old's, have attended the climbing wall at Calshot this term, to learn and perfect the many skills required for climbing.
Aided by Skilled Qualified Instructors, on both a voluntary, as well as paid level, the Squad has progressed in leaps and bounds, scrapes and falls. Tears have been shed, not only by the young squad, patience has been stretched to the edge of human endurance and not only by the instructors. Friendships have been made, opportunities embraced, shoes have been bought, bartered for and swapped, as they have all grown together.
Today at Calshot, as the school term comes to a close for the summer, the culmination of all these months of training, all those tears of blood and sweat, all those shouts of encouragement and threats of death, came to fruition as the squad held their very own Competition.
Emphasis has been placed more in the skill work required to climb, rather than the actual climbing over the past term. After all every-one can climb, but once understood and mastered, the skills honed by the club, can enable people to climb safer, higher, using toned muscles and moves learnt to take them to new highs, both physical and mental.
Head coach Shona, aided by Jon, Grant, Lisa, Katie and Martin had spent the day setting new routes across the bouldering walls. The slack line had been marked for distance and the final vertical climb set.
The squad was split into four groups. Tip, Sam, Charlie, George, Oli, Frazer and Tristan making up Group 1. Lucy, Holly, Fran, Megan, Helen and Alys, Group 2. Arran, Gabbi, Sophie, Anna, Seb and Dan, Group 3 and Molly, Ben, Annabel, Max and Josh forming Group 4.
Three separate problems were implemented to test and push their abilities. The Slack Line was set for the Squad to demonstrate their balance, concentration and foot work. The ratchet strap, slung semi taut between two posts like a tight rope, was marked at regular intervals along its length. As many practice runs, as were possible, were allowed before each contestant announced his, or her readiness to begin.
One by one they took their turn to balance on the 2 inch strap. Knees wobbled, ankles shook as hands and arms sought balance in the empty air. Some launched them selves towards the other side, while others, slowly, in an almost painstaking manner, inched their way across.
The Bouldering Routes were set for the Squad to show their route reading abilities as well as problem solving and foot skills. Precision, energy efficient movement, accuracy and technique are all utilised as they traverse the face, placing hands and feet in an ordered, thought out way. Two problematic routes had been set, each participant had two attempts at each route. Points, once again, were awarded for the distance climbed. The girls tended to triumph in the more delicate balance movements, the boys in the brute strength it sometimes requires to haul yourself across the face. Cries of encouragement were called, moans on consolation were sighed, as one by one the contestant completed or fell off the wall.
The final trial of the day involved a Vertical Climb, ranging in difficulty depending on the groups abilities. Harnesses were put on, taken off, turned around and put back on again. Straps and buckles were tightened and checked. Chalk filled the air as the Squad, rather enthusiastically, got ready for their final endeavours. Belayed by each other, watched by their mentors Mary, Steve, Angus, Laurence and Andrew, each member of the squad, in turn took their place at the bottom of the wall.
With final checks completed they began to climb. Fingertips gripped and wrapped themselves around the hand holds, tips of toes, encased in the gripping climbing shoes, rested upon the foot holds. They looked above, to their sides, sometimes even below, for the next place to grip, the next ledge to push up from. They stretched out their limbs, pushing their bodies to the limit of their ability, they launched themselves towards the next hold when reach simply wasn't enough. This is what they had trained for. This was why they had pushed themselves month after month. This was why they were here.
Today each contestant reached their goal. Some with cries of delight, some with tears of relief. Each person did their best, with the skills that they had learnt, with the abilities that they possess and with brute determination, encouraged by their friends, Coaches and Mentors.
Each of these people can proudly tell themselves they did well, they may not have won, but they took part, they showed their skills, they demonstrated their abilities, they learnt from each other and will continue to do so for the rest of their lives.
Well Done Calshot Climbing Squad!! Happy Climbing!!
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