Meet the Falconers!

The last time I had actually seen my brother Ronnie had been at his and Jan's wedding 20 years ago!

Since then he had added not one but two new additions to the family neither of whom I had met! 

We had talked once or twice on the internet over the years but had never actually managed or felt the need to meet up yet when we did see each other it was if we had only been apart for a week!!

Peter had now filled the entire area under the sink in Lady Sage with wine. Red, white, dry, sweet plus a few bottles of cider for me.

We had bread, cheese, tomatoes and salad and even though we had travelled all that way to see Ronnie and Jan's lovely new home and to meet the niece and nephew I had only seen photos of, we spent the entire night sitting under the awning of Lady Sage drinking copious amounts of alcohol and recounting stories from our youth!!!

(It is not entirely my fault that Jan was on her third large G&T by the time Ronnie got home at 5pm ....... it had been only a suggestion that a refreshing drink was just what she needed when she arrived home looking hot and tired at 4pm but Ronnie did a grand job of not only catching up but rapidly overtaking us all by 9pm!! 

I am so proud of my family for being able to rise to a challenge!!!!!!)

At some point I finished the last of my UK cider and moved onto French cider only to sober up?? 

I checked the bottle … 2%!!! 

I checked the rest of the bottles we had bought only to discover every one was less than 5% proof!! 

Who makes cider less than 7% alcohol?? 

Obviously the French!!

Luckily Peter had also found some one Euro sparkling wine that although it had an alcohol content of 11% had absolutely no flavour at all. 

By mixing half sparkling wine and half cider I managed to create a drink that not only had flavour but had an alcohol content as well! 

(This combination was to see me through the rest of our adventures in France!!!)

By 2am we were ready to call it a night! Stars filled the sky, empty bottles filled the table and even the dogs had left us to find their beds. 

With the promise to meet for breakfast we said our good nights and crawled into Lady Sage. 

(apparently Ronnie took two missed turns as he headed down the garden plus there was a rumour that he climbed the stairs on all fours for balance!)

We never made breakfast, in fact lunch was a rather late affair but we did managed to rally round by late afternoon to head into town for supplies.

Josselin is the type of French town you see on the postcard depicting typical French life.

It has a châteaux where the resident family has lived for generations and plan to continue to do so for at least another 100 years!

It has a canal where beautiful house boats and chartered floating homes quietly chug their way through town.

It has parks with fountains, guided walks full of local history, huge churches and supermarkets full of wine!!

With the boot of the car full of 'essentials' we headed home for an evening sitting around the table playing round two of the 'How many bottles can we empty tonight?' saga!! 

As the evening progressed we moved our bottles and glasses further up the garden to relax on the loungers. 

A meteor shower had been forecast and no with light pollution in the garden we avidly watched the sky as satellites and shooting stars filled the heavens above us.

As more and more confusion arose as to where people had seen the last shooting star Ronnie divided the sky into a clock with the North star directly above us as the centre. 

We were doing quite well until Peter started spotting shooting stars at '3 o'clock' when we were seeing them at '9 o'clock'. 

For more than an hour we discussed where 3 o'clock was or ought to be. 

If we had been sober I am sure we could have worked it out a lot faster but after an hour we reached the question of was the clock facing up or down? 

Once that had been solved, things progressed more smoothly bar the odd hic cup both physical and literal!

With the promise of a Day at the Races on Sunday we very civilly finished the evenings drinking by 1.30am (or there abouts!) and rose at a quite reasonable hour with only mild dehydration!

Our visit to Josselin had coincided with the Annual Race Meeting. Each year in Josselin they hold a day of horse races at their race track. It is the only day of the year the track is used and the turn out is superb! 

Although we had been told it was just a local casual dress event Peter and I decided to dressed in our finest clothes! 

Well it's not often one gets to go to the races!

With Ronnie and Jan as our guides we quickly found the bar and with our glasses being regularly refilled from our secret stash we began to choose our horses.

The first race happened before we even knew what was going on but by the second race we were ready! 

We looked at the program noting that there were trotting races, a steeple chase and various ordinary races but everything was in French (what a suprise!) – except for the horses names!

For professional race goers like ourselves that was good enough and for the next few hours we chose any name we liked placing the grand sum of a single Euro on each bet!

At first when the horses hurtled around the track we had no idea which one was ours until the end but as the afternoon progressed we managed to at least look like we knew what we were doing.

As Ronnie steadily lost race after race, Peter and I, between us, won one and lost one!

We tried choosing horses by actually reading their 'form'(?) in an attempt to raise our chances for success, only to find it made no difference to the outcome at all.

By the end of the day when we went to collect all of our winnings Peter worked out that once we removed the cost of the bets, we were a whole 1 Euro 30 cents up!!

Ronnie was 16 Euros down so we went back to the house, inviting various friends as we went for yet another night of laughter, music and much wine consumption!!

It is only now I am writing this have I discovered the lack of photos on my camera!! 

Oh well you'll just have to take my word that we ate incredibly well with the most fabulous BBQ accompanied by songs from Grant who also managed to transpose his superb guitar playing into my key while I sang my poem 'I don't want to' to the rhythm of the Blues!!!

Our plan, when we had arrived on the Friday night at Ronnie's, was to stay for the weekend and then head down south for a few days before returning to Josselin the following weekend.

But having rapidly learnt what staying at Ronnie's and Jan's involved, we unanimously decided that moving on on Monday was going to be a bad idea ......


............and as the dogs landed on the bed the following morning we knew we had made the right decision!

For anyone wanting to try 'I don't want to!' to the rhythm of the Blues here are the words lol ......

I don't want to! That's not fair!

Just pick it up please. I really don't care!

As bodies change, the words do too,

So does the attitude, what are we to do?

That sweet little child that once sat on your knee,

Now crawls out of bed just to ask what's for tea.

I don't want that! They mutter in a sulk,

As they open the fridge and gulp down the last milk.

Their room is a mess, there is an odour of decay,

They ignore our requests, or state not today …

I'll do it tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes.

Each day they ignore us, each day we bite our tongues,

As words lead to anger, and anger leads to fights,

And fights lead to doors being slammed in the night.

Their hormones are raging. Their friends egg then on.

Come out to the party, don't listen to Mum!

And so we sit in, night after night,

Preparing for battle, to fight for what is right.

The 'Please' and the 'Thank you', the family outing,

The meal at a table, performed without pouting.

We gave them the best. Gave them more than we got.

We though we did good. Apparently not!

As the battles continue we look back on the days,

We thought it was easier just to give them their way.

Our children are changing, yet so are the rules.

Some blame the media, some blame the schools.

One day they will get there, they will stand on their feet,

They will have children of their own …..

.. Oh revenge will be sweet!!!

Written by Ippy

(That's me by the way!!)